Blepharitis and depression

I must insist to my optometrist that he let me try scleral lenses. The man was reluctant to do it because he said he'd never fit a patient for those before. I could tell he was nervous, like he really didn't know how to do it and was nervous to try. But I'm telling you, I need to have them because the kind of contacts that rest on your cornea is just too painful for me. I also have eyelid problems (called blephairitis) and I wonder if even sclerals will help with that sort of thing. Well I hope so. I've been acting strangely lately-because of my pain and my friends and family have begun to notice. I want to much to rid myself of the depression and pain. I've become pretty antisocial since the development of my eye problems. And I've considered suicide...Which is pretty fucking scary. But I guess I won't do it because my family wants me to live and would miss me I'm sure.